Lend me e courage n strength, will you?

its been so long since i realli speak my heart on tis blog. sometime i feel so isolated, so many stranger ard me, ppl who r suppose 2 leave hav left, things tat r suppose 2 lose r lost. everyone hav move on, bt somehow a person was left behind e crowd. a person without any courage n strength left. a person who dun wanna hold anyone back. until now, he remain on e same spot. stil cant find e source or purposr of energy 2 start moving.

now, even if im so tired emotionally n mentally, i will try 2 say out wats on my mind all tis while. im not a gd person, an unfillial son, a irresponsible elder brother, a useless partner. lets face it, i nv be able to forget all tis injuries i got myself into. my heart is so empty now tat its bein drained dry. im not e kinda person who would go chill out or club 2 forget all my problems temporary. every nite, i stay home, doin nothin bt starin at e empty ceillin, tinkin how can i move on. i noe alot muz hav worry bout me , n i noe by now n by rite, i shud hav move on. its not bout her anymore, its bout me n my emotion. i admit it hasnt realli stable at times. all i can do is to cover myself, n force a smile or a joke 2 let them know i hav gone back 2 my normal self. but im not. im no longer e same. things r lost forever. how would i hav wat it takes to face tml.

i dun need sympathy, i need a lend of courage n strength, im weak inside. how long can i last this drainin ordeal i dunno, call me useless or hopeless, bt i hav yet 2 find e strength 2 start movin on. save me from tis turmoil, b4 i get lost forever.