我真的以为

你在我身边不再怕黑每个晚上睡的甜美
多暧昧你却不是我的谁
我在你面前变的谦卑不敢要求你的一点回馈
担心这种完美瞬间枯萎

我真的以为爱你双倍
过去就会倒退但它迟早都会一夜珍贵
你的房间里残留他的气味 所以忘却不干脆
我真的以为爱会双倍 未来不管错对
但你说爱我却不够绝对 还会想见他
却还要我跟随 告诉我爱怎能这样的分配

mienai hope

the title 'mienai hope' actually means 看不见希望. din really had a good sleep, but flashes of images went thru my mind, not sure whether its dream or my thoughts, cant differentiate them anymore. this morning when i wake up, the sunlight no longer shine on my face, as i noe 我已离希望很遥远了.

and because of sum of my foolish actions, confusion caused, things have change, unable to return to wat it used to be. i have never believe in fortune tellers, but now, after losing all my belief, i suddenly wanna go and consult 1. i dunno the whether izzit the truth or lies, whether izzit the good or the worse, but i juz wanna an answer for my life, be it comforting or worsening. suddenly, a phrase started to resurface on my mind, 'why give me sugar when you have already feed me poison'. history repeat itself i guess, it was like this 5 yrs ago, now, the same things still happen. i cant get wat u said off my mind. im really tired of this life, a life with responsibilities yet no purpose.

a fren once told me, i seriously need some belief and a person to heal me, or shud i say my heart. juz when i tot i can have some quiet time at home, suddenly found out alot guests will be coming later in the afternoon, well i guess the next best thing is to for me to get lost. i guess i will be walking aimlessly outside later. im sorry, but a fade smile is all i can put up.

waiting for you, waiting for you to come here to my dream.

这一次的倔强

this title i have here is actually originated from a song by mayday. wel tink im having mix feelings at the moment. but afterall, im glad that i did not let myself down, for being frank enough. sorry if any hard feelings caused. 至少我给了自己一个交代，也对的起自己.

ya i know im very stubborn at times, but i just acting according to my heart. theres nothing wrong with it. ya actually quite touched when get to know some stuffs, but im a bloke, so its hard for me to express this feeling.

a hard day night

wat a day, i mean wat a nite, nothing much happened in the day, but during e nite, wel my bro had high fever gotta rush him all the way 2 the nearest hospital, amk hospital. i found out tat actualli its not 24 hrs, den gotta head for a more expensive alternative, Mount Alvenia Hospital. the doctor said his temp was 39.7 degree celsius, pretty high for a kid.

well had a misunderstanding, but hope it will resolve soon, only u can believe me. forgive me, im juz not good at words.

dillema

the past few days went past in a quick blink, with a twist of events in them. n yea kbox is earning big bucks from me, went there 5 times in the last 9 days. but it was enjoyable, maybe that's really the only place that make me feel like myself. lab reports are beginning to accumulate, and thats really a bad thing.

there's two thing in my hand, friendship and relationship, both of which i really cherish. but i know i juz gotta make a choice soon, or this matter might get worse. and yin long, you were kinda right, we are the same type of people, 宁可人复我，也不可我复人.

Scarred

today was a tiring day, although i only stay in town for 4 hrs, maybe because of yesterday night cycling. and yea, talking bout that, i had a fall on the way to sengkang. but should be ok i tink, juz need a couple of days to recover.

as usual, school goes on and everybody is as stress as usual, be it human relationships or school work. but really hope everything will return to its oringinal states. this way, at least its more peaceful. i mean the course isnt tat big in numbers, and im sure ppl wil meet each other in the near future, then why make life hard for each other. wel, enuff said, the rest lies in tml.

signing off,
L

walking in the rain

sitting by the window,Singing songs of love
Wishing you were here,Because the memory's not enough
Wear my mask in silence,Pretending i'm alright
If you could see then you would be,Here standing by my side

Feels like i'm walking in the rain,I find myself trying to wash away the pain
Cause i need you to give me some shelter,Cause i'm fading away
And baby, i'm walking in the rain

the ugly truth

damn tired, but just gotta end the day with this entry. first of all, i dont know why, but this few days, i seen thru all faces of man, especially the ugly side, alot of problem came up regarding human relationship, and i mean from all directions. guess im not that good at handling this kinda problems. i really hate myself for that, but it seem, cant be help. i smell blood, as if war is around the corner, well in fact its just a thin line between the good and the ba

for some unknown reasons, i been searching for a person who was lost in my memory. although i know this may be too good to be true, but i just wanna keep believing.

and yea, almost forgot, gotta thanks my buddy, pat, hes sis and their fren for the kbox thingy, realli enjoy myself tonight, was very vexed before that, but feel much better now.

signing off,
L